Shaking up the system, the plan, the way we do what we do and the Curriculum, again!!!

I know, I know, I know; it's been a while since I updated, not for lack of thinking about it but for sheer lack of anything terribly new and exciting. I've also been terribly busy with other ventures and when I think I have the time and brain waves to sit here and share, something ALWAYS jumps in my way.

I didn't think there was anything worth posting. Well, that changed didn't it; enter the new and exciting.

We've had some major glitches lately. Some incomplete work, some dropped classes (unknown to me) and some "sure I did it..." when really, well, it wasn't done. I'm torn on the level of caring I need to invest on some of it. I mean, I told the Banker on more that one occasion that, if he didn't like something, we could change it out. I suppose I should have said specifically that if he didn't like something WE could talk about it and WE could think about options then WE could change it. I worry that he's suddenly playing with 14yroldboybrain and that combined with my perimenopausalIneedavacation brain doesn't make for the best levels of communication, seriously.

So, after our glitches, yeah, we'll call them that, and after my threats to send him to the worst public school district and the worst high school [[Not my finest mother moment]] we have decided to shake it all up for a few months.

We WERE going to continue through what we've been doing, 4 core and a few electives thrown in, for the foreseeable future. I think the Banker needs to be shaken up so we're going to scrap it! EEEK! *oh and by the way, my "oh my god I think I've broken him" lights and sirens are going off in my head like crazy*

I told him we are going to alter our schedule as follows:

1. Math: he is half way through Algebra using MathUSee. We are going to switch the 1 chapter/wk expectation to 1 chapter every 2 wks and the alternating week will be used to finish working through his World History, so that as well is now bi weekly.

2. English: The grammar, vocabulary and writing books are closed. Reading. That's what takes their place. I have a Life of Pi book project for him to work on and he has book club and whatever other book he wants to read.

3. Web Design: He has started at One Day Academy and is taking Web Design for Teens [which he ADORES]. That will be done as needed. His class is 9-10:30 one day a week and he'll have a few chapters home work. He's already spent hours on the phone with other kids who have taken the same or similar classes and listening to them chat about code is delightful! They're going to take over the world!

4. Language: He is finding a channel on You Tube to teach him a [conversational] language. I think Spanish is first because we have Spanish speaking friends that can help him out.

5. Art: He is spending a few days thinking of something that he would like to learn how to do. He can take the online lessons through You Tube. Painting, drawing, calligraphy, basket weaving ANYTHING that's artistic. I think that area of his brain isn't being stimulated, I look forward to seeing what he comes up with. I'm very curious actually to see what lights his fire, what sparks a passion.

It's SO hard not to suggest but it's surprising watching him crack under the pressure. I am relatively arty and I think he feels he's not good enough, well I know that because he's said so. I don't know how to express to him that it's not that I CAN do anything better than anyone else, it's merely that I DO it. I don't care how it comes out, I have no fear, there's no comparison and if I like how it comes out, great, if not, nothing lost.

I don't have fear to at least try and fail and that's the difference, he has fear. I'm treading lightly here because I don't want the fear to overtake him and stop him from trying.

6. Khan Academy. I asked him to cruise the site and see what strikes his fancy, strikes a passion. We are meeting next week to discuss it. They've expanded so much even since we started accessing the site, there are wonders to be experienced and I want him to have the freedom to try.

The new schedule will be worked by he and I meeting on Monday mornings, like we do now. We will lay out his weekly schedule depending on what other activities I have arranged like field trips, game days or whatever. He will be responsible for the final layout of the week and adherence to the schedule.

I noticed that we started to fall apart when I gave him the freedom to lay out his week without any grand plan and he played it by ear as he felt at the moment and he got a bit lost. It was too hippie of an option. The boy IS a Banker and needs structure and I am going to teach him how to structure himself.

I think planning the schedule together will help him learn how to do it. I think I just jumped the organizational gun on that one.

I'm also going to be checking work as he completes it as opposed to just asking or checking bi weekly. I dropped the ball on that one too.

We are taking the weekend completely off any work and we're regrouping on Monday. I need to keep repeating to myself that he's already more than half way done Grade9 when his contemporaries aren't starting any Grade9 work for another 3 months. It's not a race, it's an adventure. He WILL have all the knowledge and information he needs to graduate and he'll have a great time as he gets there, he has the opportunity to experience more than the public school kids, he doesn't DOES NOT have to pigeon hole himself and it's up to ME ME ME ME ME to be sure he doesn't. I pigeon holed him, bad bad bad homeschooling mother moment. I've realized it though and I'm opening the flood gates, I'll TEACH him how to plan his time so he can have the freedom he deserves and the structure he needs.

I'm worried that I'm fucking this up but we're still on the straight and relatively narrow. I don't think taking some 'book learning' time off is a problem at all. We are too close to the public school system and if it worked, we'd have stayed [D'OH].

I need to R E L A X. He's going to be fine, this is all on me. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

Thanks for listening :)

Field trip day

QUICKIE! 

It's standardized STAAR testing here in Austin today. The result of a years worth of teaching to "the" test, well, this is it.  The test that doesn't affect grades or determine whether you're promoted to the next grade.  Just testing for testing sake to see who gets the most money.  Nice.  We're just so very sad not to be part of that cluster anymore.

My FriendE, FriendJ, FriendC (I think) and all the children (plus extras) in tow are going to eat a gigantic burgers at a cool joint down south Austin then we are all heading over to the Cathedral of Junk to check the place and the dude out.  Yeah, screw standardized testing for no reason.  Our, socially retarded homeschool kids are all hanging out together doing cool stuff instead of stressing over a test that is given to determine how much they're worth, dollar value... yeah, we're wrecked to be missing that.  Shame we're ruining them  *GRIN* 

/tracy

yet another revisit to the New List Scheduling idea...

Well, we're rearranging out scheduling and planning yet AGAIN.  Ya ya ya, this is my version of moving furniture around hundreds of times.

I have wanted to wean the Banker off the daily schedule broken down by day.  As part of this  exercise, I want him to THINK about his week, PLAN his time, ARRANGE his schedule and COMPLETE his work in a timely, organized manner.  I think these skills need to be not a special class but an ongoing system of organization that he will use for the rest of his life.  In university, no one will tell him what to do each day, at work, he'll be responsible for completing whatever task lay before him and his honey-do list will look something like this I'm sure.  So, let's get going on this again, kiddo......

I tried the big list system with the Banker and he had a nervous break down, he couldn't cope with one all encompassing list.  He needed his day listed with what classes he needed to complete on any given day so he had a visible beginning and end to his day when he sat down.  He couldn't cope with a list of 12 classes that he had to schedule out on his own so we went back to the full week system.  I've been giving him 5 pages of lists of what his responsibility was each day.  

THEN I had an epiphany and started messing with the subjects on the days.  I stopped putting times and started putting half work split between days. Then I started messing the days around so Monday stopped being math day and Wednesday stopped being science.  I moved subjects around the week and told him it was a general guideline for the day.  THEN I put all the really hard stuff on Monday and then a full day of easy quick stuff, I tried to make it really, really unbalanced and I found he organized the week on his own to balance it out.  There started to be a natural system for completing work based on the general matter of the subjects like he tended to do science, physics and Astro-biology on the same day.  He did world history, world study together and so on.  He organized without even realizing it.  

Way to accidentally change systems...nice stuff, Banker boy!

I held off till last week when I again raised the idea of the List system and surprise, he seems delighted with the idea ;)  HAHAHA  Way to go, Hippie Girl! 

So, this is what his new weekly schedule looks like: 

  

I told you, we're old school, paper, pen and a 3 ring binder.  I like the binder system so that we can flip back and get a real, tangible sense of the sheer volume of work we've done this academic year.

He gets a master list with any special notes about the week so he can do a mental overview.  Then he gets the list broken down into the details.  I think it's visually easy to have a master list he can check off and organize in his head rather than my crazy loopy handwriting where it's broken down.  He does like a smart list :)  He can check off the master list as he completes tasks and has a quick and easy reference to what he needs to complete.  I think it's a pretty balanced schedule.  

We just reviewed the List, talked about expectations and the fact we'll be out playing all Thursday at a Minecraft fest at a library with other home school teenagers (allegedly) and then we may go visit a new home schooling friend to chat and drop hints and tips, as many as I have ??  I mean, c'mon, when did I become the go to person?  ACK!  I don't know what I'm doing but we're doing loads of it ;)

We'll see how well the Banker copes with the list and how well he balances his week.  I have solid faith.  I'll report back on Friday. 

/tracy 

We're still doing what we're doing and apparently, I haven't broken him all the way just yet

I haven't posted because I thought it was becoming dull, the repeat.

We have settled into a pretty decent  rhythm now.  He still likes me to list the work by day in his binder rather than the singular list I produced one week.  He couldn't cope with the list of classes. I told him it was the same as me writing the exact same list but spread over 5 days, ok, actually 4, but he didn't have the interest, desire or coping mechanism to break it up on his own.  That's fine, he's 13 and at 13 they are still being told what to do every.single.minute. in public school so managing to get the Banker to organize his own day is pretty good.  I want him ready for later years and college and i think giving him practice with organizing his own days around the academia he is responsible for is just fine. 

We have finished grade 8 math and history.  Nice.  We are proceeding forward with the next Algebra level in math, staying with MathUSee.  I was going to swap us over to geography but I think we'll tackle world history.  Children in Texas aren't actually introduced to the fact there's OTHER COUNTRIES so I think diving in to study just that is a fine fine thing.  I hope to have literature done soon as well so we can be in grade 9 level classes in the core classes before the end of the "school year".  I like the idea of being about 6 months ahead of public school so we can take time off, work deeper into subjects that aren't his core classes and have a built in buffer for all things...  I'm a squiggle after all.

He is doing two online "courses" through coursera.org and loving LOVING them.  They are Astrobiology and Philosophy,  most excellent introductions and ways for him to experience learning an information without the perpetual threat of being tested tested tested on every tidbit of knowledge.  Sometimes, my sweetie, we learn for the love of it, to better ourselves and to see if there's anything in the subject that grabs us, keeps us and gives us a need to keep digging through the subject.  I am going to keep introducing him to that which may delight, enthrall and inspire him.  

This isn't going to be long winded but here's the new list of classes.  I guess it's not new, this is the list we've been working for a while now and it's a goodie.

The banker's schedule of classes at this point:

Science - Glencoe book (pdf)

Astro Biology and search for extra terrestrial life - online Coursera

Physics - Physics classroom (online)

Philosophy - online Coursera

Health - Glencoe book

Latin - online and Cambridge book

Reading - Book and/or Nook

Photography - book

History - American Republic 1877

World Study - online

Math (gr 9 algebra) - cd lessons, book, online, pdf

Vocabulary - online

Grammar - Glencoe grammar and composition book

Literature - Glencoe Literature, course 2

As we finish some of the books, not core, we are going to be using ck12 http://www.ck12.org/student/   for many of the classes.  I like that site!  A LOT!  Intro to engineering and technology will be the first we tackle then some of the sciences after he finishes the Glencoe pdf book.  Did I mention I like the site A LOT!  There are also brain games you can go play and just more things to DO other than straight read, write and move on drudgery. 

I think it's well rounded, interesting, academic and he CAN move the classes around to whatever day in a week strikes his fancy but we're not quite there yet so he moves the subjects around in a day, sort of.  I help that by not schedule the same classes in the same row on the same day... keep it squiggly, mr. straight line! 

/me

Week 11, 8th

TAKE TWO

Ok, well, after a catastrophic week, socially, emotionally, educationally and parentally, I am well ready to start again already. 

I initiated my "you screw up with the small amount of responsibility you have, there, Banker dear, watch me pile it on, no, I am not removing any responsibility, I am quadrupling it" plan.  First 15 minutes in and it's going swimmingly. 

I wrote the week's plan in the Banker's binder, the purple, 'this is what we do' binder.  I put days and dates at the top of each page and filled each with the instruction, chapter and workload for the day.  There's 5 of them in there for this week, Friday only says "coOp" so it's not so bad.  

The new moment in time this week is that I handed the binder, the paperwork, the test, the project form and told him to do it and we'll meet Thursday at 4pm.  He looked gobsmacked then I smiled and said, "I don't care what order you do this work in, when you do it or what time at night you finish, it has to be done by Thursday at 4"

If he feels like History, he can do History, if he feels like physics on Wednesday instead of today then so be it. I'm not going to supervise the schedule at all but I have asked him to check in with me when he's finished various pages (because I can't totally not peek)

I can't wait to see how this plays out.  It will either go very very well or very very badly. 

He has an appointment with a friend who is a brilliant photographer and we are going to lurk around south Lamar in Austin today, on this brilliant sunny Texas Fall day, and take pictures of the food trucks and art and buildings.  It'll be a good diversion as well as take 4 hours out of his work week... ooooooh you're going to have to really schedule tightly, Banker to get it all in. 

I haven't figured out what, if anything, will happen if we doesn't get the work done, this is more an experiment in maturity, responsibility and reducing stress and increasing the love of what it is that he's learning and doing.

We are also going to figure out a Minecraft creeper head for Halloween   We have a green box base and just have to pixel it.  We are going to hang about with friends, having a drink while the boys hand out candy then go out and then hit the trick or treat road for a bit after the little kids are done.  Hey, it's a night out ;)  I must add, I hate HATE hate what Minecraft has become to some of the Banker's friends.  Way too serious and WAY too intense and we are almost done with it if it keeps up.

I've had an epiphany that has fixed me and my committee for a while.  I was sent a message by 9 friends, who I haven't seen in 14+ years, went to lunch together.  They talked about me, I matter to them, it fixed the hole I had.  It's not, after all, what I do that matters; it's who I am.  Who I am mattered enough to people I haven't seen in so many years that they gathered and sent me video messages and there isn't anything else that could have fixed me the way that did.  I am wrapped in the original inner sanctum blanket and feel warm and safe and yummy. 

The Banker will do fine this week, I have almost total faith. 

I'm off to get us ready to head to the food trailers in Austin because, well, if you are going to take pictures in Austin, you need to start with food ;)  

/Tracy

Week 10, 8th

School, it's fine.  Life?  Oh it's ridiculous.

I am in the midst of a whirlwind of drama both self imposed and beset upon.  I'm trying to find my place in the universe while fighting demons that have haunted me for my whole life and trying to determine if it matters whether I matter.  Yeah, light stuff like that.  Everyone around me seems annoyed, anxious or just angry all the time which doesn't help my precarious and infinitely fragile grasp on whatever it is I'm holding on to.

Yeah, school is fine.  The Banker is progressing through, on the whole successful and seemingly enjoying the education process we have established.  He thinks he's learning things, seems engaged and academically content.  He's being challenged and is still humming and singing through lessons, that's got to be good.

He's 13 and going through all the appropriate teen angst that boys do.  He is equally pissy, angry and needy, demanding and withdrawn, silly and weepy.  He needs as many hugs as smacks.  I don't think I've experienced quite so proficient an eye roller either.  It's delightful.  My only saving grace is the coffee chats with dear girlfriends who offer support, commiseration and one hell of a giggle. We aren't the only ones.  whew

He is not as mature as some of his friends in some areas yet he's much more mature in others, it's a precarious place, 13.  He takes games intensely but lightly and is shattered when those around him take it oh so seriously, "...I've never been more disappointed in anyone or anything in my whole entire life" isn't the sort of text one likes seeing your son receive in relation to a game.  It's a GAME!  Take your play seriously or not but don't throw that sort of drama out into the universe, and certainly don't throw it in my house. Watch me not explode, implode or hide a body.  We need to get out more and find more humans to take up more space, it'll help take the edge off some of the expectations I think, I hope, I'll make it.

In other news, I discovered that I'm being stalked online.  Stalked is perhaps a bit intense, I'm being followed and then that which I share, dramatic or funny or culinary or cryptic as they may be are being copied and emailed out into cyberspace.  Creepy? Sure.  Yesterday I would have fallen apart at the supposed betrayal but really, if (I) put it out there you can't expect not to be busted on it.  I tell the Banker daily that there are no secrets and there is no privacy online.  It's there...forever.  I'm now looking at it as a cool, I'm so interesting that my thoughts, feelings and cryptic observations are being copied and sent around the world.  Does that make me famous?  More famous. I'm no victim, I'm a rock star.  

I also had my weep at not belonging where I thought I did, I had an epiphany in the wee hours last night, after a whole life of trying, I can't make people (who I thought just would like me) like me and I think it's about time I stopped.  I have allowed my own self worth to be based on the perceived opinions of other people.  As I said, it's about time I stopped.  I thought a relationship was fixed but it was so horrifyingly clear the other day it hasn't.  I think that stops too.  Look at me being all together.  It's not mental health or direction found, it's exhaustion.  I'm exhausted and can't fight any more. 

I've also been playing a game I shouldn't play.  I've been waiting for a compliment, just an out of the blue, random, you look/smell/sound nice, you did a good job, i liked that, you are good at whatever it is you do.  I was keeping track in days, now it's weeks.  Sometimes you just can't stop, I have 4 months invested and it'll be interesting to see if it ever comes to pass.  See, it all feeds into me thinking I suck and aren't good at anything.  If you have to constantly ask if it's ok and there's no support or joy coming back, it's hard as hell to not fall off the cliff.  But I digress, this isn't supposed to be about me it's about home schooling a very straight line kid when I'm, well, look at me *ugh*

We are going to go to more movies in the next couple of weeks, do more outdoor stuff.  We are going to watch movies from the couch and eat popcorn for dinner.  There will be less online games, more live people chatting.  There will be a review of the sorts of people in our lives and what role they play.  You don't have to do everything with everyone in your life, kiddo, some people you just don't want to play cards with and some you can't imagine going to the mall without.  Everyone has a place and the place isn't always everywhere. 

I'm going to call a little girl who makes me feel happy when I see her projects, crafts and read her stories and I want to tell her so.  I am going to make some bread, supervise some algebra and assign a photography project on feet.

I'm going to divide up the leftovers as dinner and eat a very large mug full of chocolate ice cream at some point in my day. 

So, how about that home schooling. 

/Tracy

Week 9, 8th

Oh good grief this see saw world I'm in may be the death of me.  Just when I thought we had a solid handle on all this home school stuff, the Banker goes and makes some very unfortunate choices.  He made questionable (and I use that term loosely) choices in quality of completed work, volume of "completed" work and then decides, in a split second, to roll his eyes and mock something I'd said...like all teenagers are wont to do at some point, however he did it directly in front of me.  Good grief, child. 

I snatched "screens" from him for a day for the mocking and until all the work was completed as required and in a much more readable and professional format than a piece of scrap paper with 3/  A,B,B,A,C,B,D,7  scratched across it... what the hell is THAT?  "Section 3".  of WHAT?  "History".  Oh I think not not not not. 

I'll admit it's probably me being lazy or that I just suck in general.  I'm peri-menopausal and am having my own issues with a complete and total lack of self worth, exhaustion, massive confidence issues and am totally convinced that I have no relevance.  I have no help, no support and am generally feeling useless and like the help.  I'm also hot all the time, think I'm too fat, wrinkled and am living in free tee shirts I've found and haven't had a hair cut in a year.  I just need some stinking clothes that fit and don't make me feel hot and gross.   Nice to have THAT tidbit of work tossed my way as "completed'.  Ugh.

I'm trying ways to get kudos, support, or a cheering section from the inner sanctum but it's not working and I'm setting myself up for all levels of confirmation that I suck by waiting quietly for any form of recognition and when nothing comes; I feel worse.  Did I mention I'm in a funk? I am looking for enthusiasm, excitement, laughter and just a way to not be so exhausted by it all. I just don't want to have a weep today, oh wait, too late, maybe tomorrow.  Helluva think to shoot for every day.

I will say this, on the schooling front, the Banker did pull up his bootstraps and has done some beautiful work yesterday and today but c'mon, we need some consistency here.  I guess I failed miserably, what else is new, at monitoring and supervision.  I did put an immediate system in place to rectify that.  New system?  Banker isn't finished until I've reviewed the books for the day, every day.  He only has 3 subjects a day so it's not going to take hours.  He had been putting the books on my desk every day for me to review before he needed them again the following week, that descended into, "I'm going to finish something THEN put it on your desk" then to "what book? you saw it".

I'm in a gigantic funk.  I want to get away for a couple of days.

Now, he did do lovely work yesterday, as I said but then when I came outside to check on my family, (who only sit outside to watch TV) I discovered the Banker playing on his phone... um, that's a screen, dear.  So, even though he finished his work and corrected the old stuff, he did mock me and then snuck onto screens so it's another day, or two, before he'll be reunited with the Great Glowing Rectangle.

He finished the book, Divergent, that my mother brought him.  He read it voraciously, we love that.  He finished last night and is desperate for the next in the series.  Yay!  I think he's emailing my mother today asking for the next, we love that. 

I'm going to supervision lightly today, try not to let the funk overtake me and weigh me down even further.  I'm going to be delighted in the work the Banker completes, help him when he needs it and have a giggle when we stuff BBQ pulled pork into the dough that's rising to make BBQ bread pockets, that's gotta be good.  I'm going to have a very stiff drink in 3 minutes because it'll be 10:30 and my Nana always had her "elevensies" at 10:30. I'm nothing if not my grandmother's granddaughter.

I'm sure it'll be better tomorrow, it sort of has to. 

/Tracy

WEDNESDAY

Field trip day.  Oh heck we needed this.

We went to Pease Park in Austin and hung out.  The Banker took the camera and took a bunch of really really cool pictures, visited with friends then we went to lunch.

We needed this time out.  We are both rejuvenated.

Every other Wednesday is now field trip day, bonus.

/Tracy

Week 8, 8th

Ah, back to the grind.

We are in physics, science and latin today.  New science, the book that he's love love loving.  New Latin, we switched to Wheelock and he's doing a perusal day and it's continue on with the system we have in place for physics.  All good.  I'm going to jump online to some Wheelock links and see if I can find work pages, not worksheets (hahaha) for him to use as practice.

I like how this year is shaping up, I like that the Banker is so into the 2001 book.  I spoke to a friend of mine this weekend and he also suggested the Rama books when we are finished this segment. I hope the Banker continues to enjoy the choices we're making.

I spoke to a local educator friend this weekend about how we're doing and she didn't send any red flags my way, you know along the 'i'm breaking him' theory.  She is going to reintroduce me to friends of hers, also educators, and we're going to see about getting a couple of science projects for the Banker to complete after this Arthur Clarke series we seem to be doing. Two of the friends are science educators here in town and work in or around the Banker's grade level so it ought to be great.  I'll keep you posted on that one.

It's Canadian thanksgiving today, I grew up there.  A friend thought thanksgiving in October sounded like a fabulous idea so she's preparing all the sides for a feast, her mother is roasting a turkey and I'm on bread and dessert.  I made ciabatta, baguettes and rolls already and just pulled a dump cake out of the oven.  All good!

He is working, I am working... I'll update later!

/Tracy

Week 7, 8th

MONDAY

Well, it finally feels like we are back to normal.  We have no company, human or otherwise and although it's lonelier, it's quieter.

Lola (BoxerX) is resting her legs and back, she's been playing a lot and is still frequently.  There's no one interesting here at the moment so she is spending time just relaxing on the couch.  I have every faith it'll help her heal up.  Nothing like a rest to let your body fix itself.

Walter (Pug) is pleased for the quiet of GuestPug going home.  Although lovely, GuestPug does follow the crowd around and seems to think Walter should be a better host.  I love GuestPug but it was a rough week for him being here with trying to train baby Alice.  He's back after Thanksgiving and I'm looking forward to it.

Alice (Pug) is adorable, painfully so.  She's smart and has settled into the family beautifully.  She's back on track, training wise, after the fun of my mom and GuestPug being here.  Back to the grind, baby Alice.  She's sleep on my foot as I write this, yeah, she fits in nicely.

Five of the 6 chickens are laying eggs regularly now.  Edna has failed to impress, so far but I have faith in her ability to perform.  I will admit that we have been unable to confirm the identity of the giant mutant double yolk egg that was laid in the coop.  We assumed it was Martini because of the consistent gigantic size of her eggs.  I'm keeping a watchful eye to see when Edna comes through.  They are still huge fans of laying in my chair outside and in fact had a line up this morning waiting to jump up and lay.  It's ridiculous and anarchy, fun!

The Banker is back on track as well.  We have a full, regular, week of school planned.  We headed out to get new tires on my car today and stopped at Half Price Books to have a look around.  We decided to switch gears in Latin and we bought him a Wheelock latin book.  We have been futzing around with a few different Latin ideas and neither of us have been delighted with any of them.  We are streamlining to the one Wheelock book and we'll see how it goes.

We also bought 2001 A Space Odyssey, he'll start reading it this week and when he's done we'll do a little project and see the movie, great plan for a science unit, I think!

I feel frantic for some reason, maybe just overtired or worried or fat or all of the above.  I'm taking some well needed and deserved "me" time tomorrow to spend time at Ikea (one of my favorite places to lurk about) with FriendC, I like her vibe and am looking forward to the spending of time.

I don't feel too much like I'm breaking the Banker this week, bonus!

We did stop on the way home and bought copious amounts of Chinese food so I don't have to cook later although I am playing around with one of my tried and true millionaire shortbread recipes, never one to rest on my laurels :)

I think it's cocktail time...

/Tracy

TUESDAY

I'm going out to play today.  Here's a little something to keep you entertaining for a few moment, it's how we roll at my house now.


Sunny lays an egg:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azc9aenKymk&feature=plcp

Chicken lays an egg:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7spSqyvLMc&feature=plcp

I'm leaving the Banker to his own devices this morning and heading off to Ikea with a friend.  I need the diversion and FriendC is the one to divert me.

I had a culinary crisis yesterday when the insert of my pressure cooker (Nesco Electric) took a tumble and crushed it's side.  I actually wept.  I use the pressure cooker all the time and had just done a massive meat shop, specifically for meat to cook in the pressure cooker! GASP!  I toyed briefly with just going out and buying another one.  I got mine at Walmart for $62 but they are $70 now and frankly I was afraid to spend the grocery money on one.  I called the company and they are shipping me a new insert for $25, it's going to be a long 7-10 days *whimper*  I don't cope well with waiting.

The Banker is going to be responsible for completing his "English" day work, literature, grammar and vocabulary.  He also has to finish the first chapter of his new Latin book from yesterday and I want him to finish his laundry (you BET he does his own!) and empty and refill the dishwasher so I can come home to a clean space and make dinner.  I think I'll make a meatloaf, I haven't made one forever and it'll be quick and easy when I get back.  I was going to make meatballs with the ground beef but since I discovered the pressure cooked meatball, I don't think I could go back to the oven or stove top cooked kind.  I'm a snob about my own food apparently.

I posted a couple of chicken videos for you.  There was an actual wrestling match in the chair between Sunny, who was in the throws of laying an egg and Chicken who needed the spot herself!  Sunny laid her egg on Chicken's head and left, that's why there is an egg on the chair in the video.  I have video of Sunny laying an egg and now of Chicken, very different techniques and yes, it's the kind of thing I notice.  I'm on a mission to get a video of each one of them although Peck lays in a very tiny dog crate so it'll be far less dramatic.

I'm off to do what I want to do today and leave my poor Banker to do all the work, poor Cinderella.

/Tracy

Week 6, 8th

Wednesday (see, only 2 days late)

WOW, what a great time we had with my mom here. We didn't do real touristy things but there was a lot of chicken watching, egg gathering (five of the six now lay consistently) and puppy wrangling. We also took in a guest pug to watch for a week and the chaos was palpable. I don't like guest dog sitting when I'm trying to train a puppy. At all. I really like the dog but not this week, when I've had my mother here and the chickens and home school and trying to keep a puppy organized with a dog (even a cute one) that is in the way and doesn't "do" our rules, messes it up just a bit. It didn't help that husband told me the dog was coming 2 days before then he went to pick it up and came home with it 2 days early from the original time he told me. I think the dog goes home Sunday and I can get into actually seriously training Alice without the distraction of an oversexed old pug or a mother I want to play with instead of paying attention to poop schedules.

School, oh that pesky thing; we did it fine. The Banker was on his regular schedule, more or less, and managed to get through it while we futzed here, played out and were generally distracting in either our presence or not.

Mum left yesterday, as did husband for a quickie business trip. My plans for 2 free days went out the window but it looks like I might get a portion of one today. I just want a day I don't have to go anywhere or cook or clean something, I just want to relax. I don't think that's in my cards but I will continue to strive for it in my head.

Back to school, I do digress, I think it's going well. Banker is managing to keep up with the 2 biggest subjects, history and literature. I have an expectation he complete a week's worth of work in one day on those subjects and he's producing beautifully. I think math is going well, he's mastering the subjects and we are ready to order the Algebra package. I think he's figured out how to learn from the dvd as opposed to watch it and then complete the problems using tools he'd gotten in school. I didn't realize that is why he was struggling through a couple of the lessons. I don't think the Banker thought he'd be learning actual new processes and formulas and got frustrated when the methods he'd learned in 6th grade no longer worked through the entire problems he was being given. Successes, like he's been getting now, breed success and joy and he's back to humming and singing while he does his math and that is always a good thing.

Physics is going well, he is working through the Khan Academy videos then doing followup activities on 2 websites and then he has an iPad book with activities and quizzes that he is working through. Good stuff.

Science continues to frustrate me. At the moment he's working through the Khan Academy astronomy and cosmology videos, taking fabulous notes and discussing the theories with me in reasonable detail. I still feel it's lacking somewhere and is the source of my fretting and worry that I am sending him down a path of becoming a terribly annoying (with just enough knowledge to drive people crazy) drive thru MacDonalds professional. *sigh* *this is a good place to throw in a "you're not breaking him" comment.

He has started to read Divergent, my mum brought it for him with high praise from my niece who is the same age as the Banker. I hope he learns to enjoy books again, he used to and has lost the love of it somewhere...it's a mission of mine to get him back into the sheer joy of books. I would happily let him use a book as a course, read 2001 and get back to me in 2 months... Here's your next subject, honey, and hand him a book.

HEY, wait a minute. That's a GREAT idea. And yes, that just came to me from my fingertips as I type this. Why don't I give him 2001 A Space Odyssey and have him review and research the details as he reads it AS his science class for the rest of this "semester". HEY, I'm going to think about that with a reasonable amount of seriousness today.

The Banker is doing well with his photography, he takes 20 pics on one subject matter. He edits then logs them and puts them in a cyber album. We review them and discuss the voice and feeling of the pictures. I'd like to get him a more sophisticated photo editing program, I'll look for something online I think initially.

He loves the CoOp and is working hard at it. He loves his Volunteering class where he assists the teacher in a 3-4 yr old class. He loves his Art Class and can't wait to show us what he's produced. He has a stronger affinity for the Art than I thought he would, excellent. He loves his Spanish Class and works hard in it. He has a lot of home work, considering it's a CoOp and takes it seriously to complete and complete well. I'm proud of him.

I am doing my CoOp volunteering weekly. I think there are 9 weeks left. I can't even describe my own experience and out of respect to the people who work so hard to make it happen, I am not going to describe it here. There are 9 weeks left. I can do anything 9 times. I can do anything 9 times that results in the Banker, my sweet boy, being so happy and enjoying it so much. This, by the way is why I intend on being a burden to him when I'm older, not that I begrudge any happiness he may experience as a result of this but my unhappiness is the reason I'll show up on his door step with bags in my hand and a drool bucket over my arm..."I'm here, dear...remember CoOp". HAHAHAHAH

I think I'll grade some of the Banker's work from last week (ooops) and de-"my mom is coming!" my house. After that, I think I'll take the damned day off.

/Tracy

Week 5, 8th

Well, this is just ridiculous.

MONDAY:

My mother is here and we are playing every day.  With the puppy and the chickens and the dogs and the home school and the cooking and eating and playing and restauranting, there's no time for anything silly like sitting down or blogging.

Just quickly, school is going beautifully.  The schedule is working beautifully and the Banker has mastered those pesky concepts in pre-Algebra that had been kicking his butt.  He breezed through the last chapter and aced the test.  We were both terribly proud.  I think he had been concerned and the success did wonders for his confidence and faith in this home school thing.

We are cooking and shopping and then cooking and cocktailing today.  Well, mum and I, the Banker will be doing Latin, Science and Physics.  Sometimes it's good being the grown up.

I'm loving the time mum is here.  She's digging the chickens, Alouette has decided to lay eggs in my chair on the patio,  Luckily the Banker made a nest from my chartreuse Ikea blanket for such an auspicious occasion. The two of them sat and watched her, in my chair and on my blanket, lay a beautiful brown egg then hop down and wander off, job for the day well done.

It's weird here at the moment, I kind of love it.  I'll be lonely as hell when mum leaves, it's been fantastic and amazing to have a grown up to chat to on demand :)

/Tracy

TUESDAY

Every once in a while there is a moment in time that confirms to me the Banker is getting it. "Hey, mom, is it ok if I do another chapter in my Newton iPad book? I'm really enjoying it..." Um, sure dear ;) The temptation to do a fake anger and send him to his room was rather sizable. HAHA I love love love this part of the home school experience. If he digs something, he simply keeps researching/reading/studying it. Wow, what a crazy concept. I think he's finally stopped looking at clocks and doesn't ask me how long he needs to do something any more. He reviews his daily schedule and simply works through it until it's all complete, hands the comp books to me for review and bingo, day done. Sometimes he's working until about 1-2 and sometimes, like yesterday, he works until close to 6 because he's enjoying the experience of learning something and investigating something.

I am having a blast with mum here.  Yesterday we played with coconut rum (she'd not tried it) and make the best cocktail on earth, dangerous cocktail because there isn't the slightest hint of anything alcoholic in it.  Coconut rum (1x) Pineapple juice (2x) 1 banana and loads of ice.  Blend in my Ninja and you've got a smoothie, refreshing, 2 fruits! and it's ab/so/lutely delicious.  I don't think we should have more than 2 in any sitting though, well, unless we have no intention of standing. HAHAHA

The Banker and mum just went for a walk around the neighborhood and now she's getting organized, the Banker is working on his literature work and I've just put millionaire shortbread up to cool and am going to go walk on my treadmill for a few minutes before my shower and then I'll be ready for a Monday Afternoon (which is what we're calling the rum cocktail) and a think about what we should do this afternoon that's almost touristy without being blatantly so.

Alouette and Chicken are still the only ones producing eggs but they're pretty much each giving me one a day.  Alice pug puppy is coming along nicely with her training and is now on a solid 11pm-7am crate schedule and is going in for 2 hour naps without a peep. She has figured out I need her to pee/poop when we go outside THEN she can play and she adores Lola, who has the patience of Job and is the best mother of any species I've ever seen.  Walter Pug may have come to figure out Alice isn't going anywhere and has stopped being so grumpy with her.  She plays, loves on, cuddles (and runs to for support) with Lola  and she sits, stoically beside Walter watching the world go by, she's found her spot in the pack.

For the moment, it's all good :)

/Tracy

Week 4, 8th

MONDAY

Well, it was a very busy weekend. My mother arrives today and I waited until Friday night to start doing anything around my house. You know, silly things like washing bedding and towels so the poor woman can lay down and bathe :)

I'm looking forward to loads of cooking, cocktails and giggling. It's what we do. The Banker is well set with school this time around (we were in chaos when she came down last time in May, I felt like a true failure). He has a much more organized and flowing schedule this time, one of each class, laid out in a relatively cohesive order. He likes the work, completes the work and we seem to have a decent thing going. I hope.

Of course, this morning I started looking online for 8th grade science text/work/project books. I think I found one I might like,


Ready-to-Use Science Proficiency Lessons & Activities: 8th Grade Level

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0130340987/ref=ox_sc_sfl_title_1?ie=UTF8&smid=A1F4CBIOQT8423


I'll have my resident expert, Ms.Zan check it out for me. I always defer to her experience with such things. I think it looks like a good basic resource that we can use to learn, direct and do some hands on work/projects/problems.


I've added an iPad book, Newton's Physics which the Banker is using as a companion to his Khan Physics lessons, in addition to the student extras on physicsclasssroom.com and he's been registered for months with, and gets the problem/s of the day emailed to him from, learnconceptualphysics.com. I think we're covered there :)


I love Ms.Zan's Literature and History lesson plans which I stole, she donated to our cause. The Banker loves those the best, he says they are the most professional of our classes. I like that.


In any event, I think my mother will be impressed with our progress from the anarchy of last year to the more organized this year.


One of my chickens, Alouette, has started to wander the garden to lay her eggs in new and exciting hidden locations. I think it's delightful she's added a playful element to what could be the drudgery of lay an egg in the assigned location, one of us gathering it, then eating it. Really, adding a hunt into the mix is, ok, it's going to be a pain in the a**. The problem is that the girls can jump (!) out of their run and into the yard to wander, forage, eat bugs and generally piss off the blue jays in the area but they can't jump back IN! Husband is moaning and threatening to cover their run with netting but then I can't go in the run, where I actually go and hang out and clean it and rake it. IF he covers it with netting then I have to shrink my bulk down to 3 feet tall and I'm not crawling in ANYwhere for ANYone, seriously.


We have 7 eggs in our little bowl at the moment and plan on having a number of them, lightly fried on homemade bread for dinner tonight when my mother arrives. Nothing says welcome to the farm than, "here, hold the puppy, Hurricane Alice, go hunt for eggs and dinner? oh it's that thing the chicken just squeezed out of her back end, sorry about the sticky butt residue, i'll just go wash that off..."! Hmmm, worth the flight to Texas.


I am not even going to comment on the fact my mother is arriving this afternoon from Ontario, Canada and my husband is flying to Ontario, Canada, tomorrow morning. His company is owned by a company not far from my mother's house. He is going for a week, will be back a week and then both he and my mum fly out the same day, both Canada bound. Different flights/destinations but it'll be weird waving them both off. I told the Banker we are taking the day after that completely and totally off. I said we will do ice cream for breakfast, popcorn for lunch and cookies for dinner that day, in jammies, watching trashy tv. We may even rent a couple of movies and just sit that day.


He's well into his work today, he enjoys Monday. Monday is science, physics, and latin day. He likes the computer and then iPad then computer aspect of the work/information on his first day out of the shoot. Tomorrow is his Literature day so there's more paper and working out of 2 books day, his Nook for his read and then one online exercise. I like the way his schedule is balanced that way.


While he has climbed into his iPad and is reading more about Newton and those laws, I'm off to deal with my final laundry, puppy, chicken coop clean out then dash to the store for limes and yeast and more wine...much much more wine!


/Tracy

Week 3, 8th

Wow, what a Labor Day weekend!

TUESDAY

We had a great 3 days, loads of playing, chickens, puppy time, eggs, friends, cocktails and plans for the future. WOW.

I will be honest, it was hard to get motivated today, I need a day off :)

Alouette is laying 1 egg every 30 hours or so, the other chickens are lollygagging about and resting on her laurels. I'm not above eating them. I think they know it and start to squawk and honk loudly when they see me, in a veiled attempt to lull me into a false sense of thinking they're trying to lay eggs. That's my current theory.

The Banker is working hard today, it's language arts day. I'm trying to ensure we're back on track so we can move into some of the 'elective' things he wants to do. It seemed we were fighting upstream last week and I don't want to feel that way.

I simply removed Mondays classes from our roster this week so there's no trying to make up the classes we didn't do Monday (labor day) sometimes you simply have to play the day away with friends without consequence. I like that.

I am going to download the second Hunger Games book for the Banker to start reading this week, hopefully we'll have a less stressful reading program than we had over the summer. I bought it for his Nook, I hope he enjoys it! I bought the second and third books actually so he can finish the trilogy. My mom told me about some teen book that is all the rage (she's further in the loop than me!), she's bought him the paper book, "Divergent", my niece is a huge fan of that series apparently. We like a little familial pressure to perform ;)

The CoOp starts this Friday and I am dreading it. That's all I'll say about that right now. I don't want to jinx it or send bad vibes to the Banker. I can do anything 12 times, 11 if I catch something and as long as it's not chaos, the Banker will have a great time and that is the whole point there. I may pack a flask. No one need know.

In other news, Pug puppy Alice is a joy, a sheer and utter joy. She hasn't had an accident since she arrived and has rung the bells to go outside a number of times. I can't see an accident happening. She is still very young, 3 mos, so no doubt she could forget or just squat but since the other two are regular bell ringing goer outers, Alice is on their schedule anyway. She does start to charge around the house like mad when she's playing with Lola in the evenings and when I send her outside when she's frantic like that she always produces, like any youngster, having too much fun to want to stop and go to the bathroom. Only a week and I can't remember our house without her in it.

We are supposed to go to a park tomorrow morning but we are blowing that off. I want to get the work this week under our belts. My mother arrives on Monday and that'll give us loads of reasons to divert over the next two weeks so we may as well work while we have the house to ourselves and no diversion to goof off. We can take time when she's here to play.

I haven't made any noises about getting a minecraft play time together, I've been busy playing myself. I have that on my short list of things to do this week, maybe we can do one at the Microsoft store at the Domain in Austin in which case the Banker can cyberplay and my mother and I can shop at my new favorite cooking store there, Sur La Table. We'll see.

I'm cooking a big roast dinner tonight for some reason, 102 degrees isn't going to get me down because sometimes I just feel like roast chicken, mashed potatoes, peas, glazed carrots, gravy and stuffing. Mmmmm. I have a hankering and when the mother has a hankering, everyone eats well ;)

/Tracy

WEDNESDAY

I have a treadmill in my house now.  Hubba surprised me on the weekend with one.  We have an elliptical but I can't use it with my crazy ankle and hip.  When I turned 48, something happened to me and I found myself starting to swell, not unlike a balloon being inflated.  Peri-menopause symptoms, said my Dr.  WTHell? Now, after no change in my lifestyle or intake I'm 2 sizes bigger and rounder and moodier (yes, it was possible apparently) and menopausal and figured a way to help me (enjoyably!) cut a pound or two (other than removing a limb) was to start walking on a treadmill. It's Austin, Texas, it's always too hot for me to walk outside. I walk 1.25 miles in the morning and again in the afternoon. Unfortunately, walking on a treadmill makes me starving hungry and after the walk this morning I walked downstairs and ate half a BLT with cheddar that I made on a half loaf of ciabatta I made, a banana, a glass of milk, a cookie and 14 milk chocolate covered pretzels. Yeah, this is going to work beautifully. *thud*

FRIDAY

It's first day of Co-Op today. I'm trying not to fret.  This isn't about me, after all.  It's about The Banker.  He is taking volunteer hours (which everyone should) he's taking high school art (to mess with his academic brain and loosen him up a bit) and then Spanish (which everyone should, any foreign language).  It's his fruits and nuts semester.  I told him he can do 'serious' class/es next semester at One Day or Bronze Door ($$!)  I'm going to spend 3 hours a week with little children.  I planned this badly but am not going to moan about it anymore.  As long as the Banker is happy, I will be happy.

This, by the way is the moment in time I intend to use in later years as part of my 'becoming a burden' to the Banker.  This story, this experience is why he has to take care of me when I'm old and feeble.  I'd thought about it over the years and tried to determine which moment I could pinpoint as the one moment he owes me for.  This is the one.  It's not that I don't like other people's little children it is that I don't like other people's little wild children.  I am not going to prejudge too heavily today though.  I haven't even met those children.  Perhaps they'll be delightful.

Baby Pug Alice is still doing wonderfully, no accidents and doing well in the crate.  She loves the chickens, doesn't chase them anymore and completely and fully believes Lola is her mother.  I have been really consistent with the crate and feeding and schedules which is why there's been no accidents in my house.  She comes to her name, is relatively obedient, for a little girl, and loves to have a good cuddle.

I have been working her up to almost 3 hours in the crate in the morning then 2 in the afternoon after a play and a feed.  She has to do her longest stint yet today, 3 1/2 hours and I fully intend on using her as an excuse to bolt out of there after CoOp today.  Sure it's lame but it's what I am going to do.  I can't remember a time she wasn't here, crazy little dog.  Lola is doing a beautiful job training her and keeping her occupied at my request.  I can't imagine having a puppy without Lola around to do the actual work.

We had a great day yesterday, changing the subject.  FriendE came with her boys, FriendJ and FriendZ.  True to form the children vanished with laptops and we only saw them when their need for food and drink surpassed their need to do whatever it is they were doing.  Mining emeralds apparently.  Minecraft of course.  I made an enormous platter of sandwiches and chips and sent them away upstairs.  Sometimes I really love my gameroom.

FriendE and I chatted about homeschool things, she'd purchased a book we looked through.  It was nice to have the chat with someone in the same boat.  We both feel overwhelmed and underwhelmed by our science options and choices.  We designed the perfect 8th-12th grade science curriculum, now if someone would merely produce it, we'd be set!

An interesting thing happened as well.  FriendE brought her crochet.  I haven't crocheted for a while, choosing to switch to the much faster and more instantly gratifying sewing/serging and embroidering.  I haven't played with my hooks or sticks since the fire in the craft room.  She had seen a pattern online she wanted to do but wasn't prepared to pay $9 for the instructions.  I agreed.  We deconstructed the pattern, we can do that, and wrote our own version and voila, our own pattern and that poor girl who spent all that time and effort writing her .pdf to sell, well, sorry for your luck, dear.

I had a small epiphany about it actually.  I realized I really do enjoy knitting and crochet.  It's infinitely portable and something I can do in addition to the food and the writing while we are in school mode and in the same room as the Banker.  Something I cannot do with the machines. Hmmm, sometimes it takes a simple question, "hey, do you think we can figure out this pattern so we don't have to pay this girl?" to make you rediscover something you thoroughly enjoy doing.

I'm going to play with my sticks and hooks more again and I'm sort of delighted about it.  I am also completely delighted with my treadmill and am continuing to do 1.25 miles, twice a day, with my headphones on, unplugged from everything except the noises in my head.  I love it.  I may not be able to ever go out or ever be on my own but this machine buys me 30 minutes of 'leave me alone' time and that is never ever a bad thing.

I'll report back on how our day progressed, of course.

/Tracy

FRIDAY, part deux

Sometimes, when we fret and worry about something we've never experienced, it becomes bigger than life.  I am a firm believer that most of the time, the fear of the thing is so much worse than the actual thing.  Well, usually.  Not today.  Today it was worse.  Much, much, much worse.

The Banker had a great time, he loved helping out the little kids for his volunteer hour.  He knew one of the little boys in the class which made them both feel a little more special.  He absolutely loved Art class and got kudos for a job well done from the teacher.  He loved his Spanish class and excitedly told me about the homework he has, the similarities between Spanish and Latin and generally bubbled over about the whole experience.  It warms my heart to see him so joyful about this.

I was in hell.  I thought I would hate my experience but had no idea how much I would hate it.  All my nagging little fears were incalculably multiplied.  I have to do it 11 more times, 10 if I can manage to catch something horrible.  I wonder where I can catch something horrible.  Leprosy? Plague?  I'm easy and don't really care which.  Summarizing my experience?  OH, I.absolutely.hate.it.  For fear of anyone involved potentially seeing this, I won't do any detail, it would be disrespectful and I don't want to do that.  I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings...a blog or my opinion are never worth it.  All I will say on the matter is the Banker is happy and glowing and excited and for that, I will continue to do anything.  I on the other hand, spent 3 hours of my day today watching to run screaming, I'm not being over dramatic here, I literally wanted to run...screaming...

I think I'll go have a little nervous breakdown now, just a little one, in my room, all alone.  I told the Banker how much I hated it.  He knew by my face and my frantic exit from the facility.  I told him how much I hated it with a smile and a giggle of course, you can't take this too seriously and the level of which I hate this is actually comical.  I hope I made him feel better about me hating it.  He does worry.  He was concerned I'd quit and then he would have to.  I assured him I would never quit something he enjoyed so much.  I can do 11 more.  Or 10, there's always the potential for Scabies? Rabies?  Lice?

When I go to my room for my little breakdown, I may actually shed a tear or two, stress tears of course.  Then I'll be over it and will suck it up.

Besides the fear I had/have of breaking the Banker and ruining the rest of his life, this moment in time is the worst home school moment (so far).

/Tracy

Week two, 8th

I'm not going to post daily but will update this post through the week based on day.  I may have nothing to say ;)



MONDAY

Week two seems to be off to a rousing start.  We have a new diversion in the house, I've named her Alice. Good grief, 2 dogs, 6 chickens and now...a puppy! What am I thinking?!?!
     

I am sort of hard core when it comes to dog training so, cute as she is, we're in full on crate training.  Her daytime schedule is 2 hours crated, 1 hour out, no squealing, whining or barking allowed.  So far, she's spot on and hasn't made a peep.  She's also not allowed to come out of the crate until I invite her, also, she's nailing it and waiting patiently until I open the door and then stand back and invite her to come out.  As I said, cute or no, I have things to do and I'm hard core :)  She'll be trained quickly because she's smart, I'm consistent as hell and Lola and Walter are doing all the work for me :).  My dogs are bell trained and it took Alice all of 30 minutes to figure out the bell ringing (Lola and Walter both ring it) means the doors is opening and we're all going out.  She also comes to her name already!  (I changed it to Alice because, well she LOOKS like an Alice)  She is in the crate all night, 11-6:30 without a peep and isn't making a sound when I pop her into the crate so I can get something done.  Puppies are never.ever.ever unsupervised at my house, even for a second.  No accidents so far :)  

I turned my office/craft room/ sewing room/ writing den/ classroom back into the space we needed after transforming it into a sewing space to finish a rug that was ordered from my Etsy store.  I am suspending the store (for the craft stuff) for the time being.  I can't do both in here and I prefer to write.  I finished one rug, at the cost (almost) of the top of my finger, a gash which I keep reopening *ouch*  I am going to trim and ship the white rug and am going to return the money of the second rug.  I don't have the teeshirts here and have no intention of going to shop for them then cut them then make the rug for the cost I charged.  I set the price when I was making them regularly and had the t's in stock.  I am trying not to feel like a failure.  I just don't feel it anymore.  I think it's because I finally made the decision to move on, to write, to follow my passion and am feeling obligated to make these tshag rugs and you can't be creative and happy if you feel obligated.  That's my thought anyway. 

Science, Latin and Physics went fine today.  I did buy the Banker an iBook for his iPad, Newton's Laws, for him to use in conjunction with his Khan Physics.  He's delighted. 

We have a good system with the big purple binder that we pass back and forth with notes and expectations and schedule, daily agenda and completed work.  It's like a game of tag, you're free until it's your turn to work in the binder! 

He finished by 1pm today and is on full puppy duty, I hear giggling and cartoons and the odd happy puppy noise coming from the other room.  Most excellent. I think I'll make him garlic cheese biscuits to go with the farfalle with two sauces I'm doing for dinner.

/Tracy

WEDNESDAY

The week has been a rousing academic success, well, up until 10:30 on day 3.  The Banker got all the work done on Monday he needed to, all the work yesterday and is well on his way on MathUSee day today.   I finally *ooops* graded the rest of his tests from earlier weeks and discovered there was one that he failed miserably.  I mean there's failing a test then there's failing miserably.  The good thing about such an abysmal score is that he was obviously thinking about something completely different.  He was so far off that I think he wasn't paying attention or something else was going on that day.

When I sit and think about it, I seem to recall he did a bunch of tests that one day and this may have been the last one or he was just done with it all. I get that.  He is going to redo the test today, gotta love home school...  the retake without worry or ramifications.  That makes me happy.  He was sort of surprised when I told him how horribly he'd done and agreed he was just off.  You're allowed to be off when you're in the 8th grade, you can't be off when you're in high schools exams or college placement tests but he's 13 and working at home so he is absolutely, completely, allowed to have an 'off' day.

I'm also going to test a theory and give him 'review pages" at the end of each chapter instead of 'tests'.  We are having a hellish day because he's shattered about failure. Having him redo a chapter (at my request as opposed to his decision to review the work) is being met with drama befitting of a 15 year old girl rebuffed in the lunch room over a love note.  *gack*

I'm not delighted.

Alice, that puppy, isn't interfering too much.  I am a hardcore crate trainer so she is in her crate from 9-11:30 every morning so she can rest (hahahaha) sure, we'll say that.  It's so we can get our stuff done and it prepares her for when we go out, did I mention I really really need to go out.  She comes out of the crate for about 1 1/2 hours then starts to fade so we crate her for another 2 hours.  That schedule seems to work for her and then she's ready for bed at about 11 or so and she's down for the night and back up around 6:30.  Not a peep in the night, this is my kind of puppy!

I am going to start the Banker on his photography class later today if for no other reason as for the diversion.  I'm sending him out with a camera.  Sure, we could talk about theory and history, naw, he's going to take pictures, experiment with hue and focus and the best way to learn what the million buttons on my Samsung digital camera do is to use them.

I'm thinking it might be wine time already. I have a hissy pissy teenage boy doing math in a snort and the puppy is only good for another half hour before I have to go be perky and joyful (and I'm in no mood suddenly).  I should take my window of opportunity here and now.

/tracy

FRIDAY

Well, what a week, with my ridiculous decision to get a puppy, which is going beautifully by the way, then the drama that was trying to get through a 12 hour school day and today, one of my chickens laid their first egg!  In the nesting box, wow.  I'm over the moon excited about it.  It's a little thing, barely brown and it's a big bowl on my counter waiting for more so we can have a meal.  I am not going to get anything done today for running outside to check the run, the yard and the coop for another!!

School kicked our butt this week a little bit.  We did math for an entire day which pushed everything back a day and today, which is supposed to be our 'free' day, is going to spent on the final math test then chapter for this week to bring us back in line.

The Banker told me he doesn't feel well and has gone to lay down.  I don't think he feels ill, I think he feels guilty from a little drama outburst he had at bedtime last night.  He wakes up feeling guilty when he's acted like that.  That's a good thing.  I'd be upset if he didn't give a damn about acting like a mouthy 'i know everything and you are obviously an idiot' teenager.

I think it's going to be a low key day and that's fine.  We are in week 2, are up to date on everything I wanted to be into by now and if we put off the next math chapter for a week then so be it.

I realize it's a short week next week and then we lose Friday by having the CoOp start.  Yeah, my time is ticking away there.  I'm still trying not to fret, even with the diversion of Alice and the chickens' egg I am feeling pretty consistently ill about the whole thing.  I will have to decide which subject stream day we blow off.  Just because Monday is Latin/Science/Physics doesn't mean that's the day we'll lose on a holiday.  I'll talk to the Banker about it

I think friends are coming over on Monday to talk about a food trailer (be still my heart) and even if we weren't having people come play, I think we are going to take all the school holidays off.

I have to research chickens today, about their laying habits, I can't spend every minute wondering if I should run into my backyard to check for an egg!  ACK!  I'm excited **GRIN**

Have a happy weekend, I have work to do.

/Tracy

Day Five, 8th

So, we went to Orientation at the new CoOp today.  The people are lovely and I'm sure it'll be fine.  

The Banker is going to be volunteering with 3-4 year olds for an hour, go to an art class held in a hallway with 4 other teenagers and then he's taking a Spanish class with about 10 other teenagers.  I, on the other hand, am going to be assisting in the nursery (under 2) then helping in an Early elementary "general science" class for the K-2 crowd then in a phonics type class also for the K-2 age group.

The Banker is a product of both some military drilling from public school but also from his own desire and need for the straight and narrow, rules, regulations and organization.  Sure, I am a hippie but I can't deal with chaos and there's a 'need for order' strip in my head that needs constant attention.  We learned today some people who home school feel their children may be too precious for rules.  I may not survive.

Well, ok, I obviously will survive, I can do anything 12 times and maybe the little kids will be adorable and darling and I will be counting the days until my next encounter with them. 

There is then the set up and take down, the CoOp is at the local church so all the seating /tables /chairs supplies are temporary and need to go up and down each Friday.  I don't really know what I thought this would be, but this isn't it.  Ok, I said it.

I'm sure it'll be fine, I think it'll be good for the Banker.  He saw how shattered I was after the orientation today and started to go down the "I don't have to go here..." road.  Oh, no no no, Banker, baby...that's not what I meant when I teared up in the car... It'll be fine, you'll have a great time.  Guilt from you?  Oh, I'm not having THAT!  We had a chat that I wasn't happy about my having to deal with little kids but that was hardly a deal breaker for him to attend.  

We knew this semester was going to be a CoOp "fruits and nuts" semester, he didn't have to take anything that mattered, this was to get us both out of the house.  I'll be even more honest though, if I am going to be able to get out of the house, I do not (read that in capital letters) want to spend that limited time in the company or care of other people's little children.  

I am absolutely filled with horror for the next 12 weeks of my life as well as all consuming guilt at feeling so negative about this.  After all, I am fully aware this isn't about ME, it's about the Banker.  I am doing this whole home school deal for him.  Life, for me, would be far less stressful if he was in a public school turning into a robot like the rest of them.  I want HIM to have a better life and am willing to do whatever it takes,  however I have to spend time, for the next few months, in order for that to happen, I have to give up a full day a week to babysit.  I feel ill about the whole thing.

Luckily, it'll only be until November (yeah, that seems years away) because we had already decided we would find the Banker a credit course next semester.  I think I'll reopen my One Day Academy folder and revisit that idea. 

I'm going to take the next week trying not to be frantic, judgmental or fret.  I am going to calm down, look at it as a fun diversion and take advantage of any opportunities this affords.  Maybe there's some brilliant silver lining I can't see through my ... "horror" seems a bit extreme.  Trepidation is a better description of what I'm feeling. 

Have I already said I'm sure it'll be fine?  

He finished his History from yesterday and I've given him the rest of the day off to play in Minecraft land (he is going to try the new server through austinareahomeschoolers) and anyway, he's worked hard this week, he just needs to be able to have a great (rest of his) Friday. 

Me?  Oh I'm going to fret and have another glass of wine.

/Tracy

Day four, 8th

I think the Banker is already 'getting' that he isn't going to want to save work from one day to the next. 

The deal we have is that he can move work one day but then has to finish up after CoOp on Fridays (or before he if has the stamina).  We also agreed that no work, other than projects with extended due dates, moves over a weekend.  I can see us jumping on that slippery slope.

He still asks me if he can do the work out of the order it's written on the page.  I supply him with a daily agenda with the 3 classes and chapter/test/project/answers that he's to do in regard to the classes.  I think it funny he asks if he can do grammar before literature or read last...  bless your heart, Banker, you're so well trained.  Every once in a while I am shown, in shocking technicolor, that he was locked into a military (bordering on penal!) system that is the Texas Public School system.  

You will be given the page of work to do.
You will do the work in the order given.
There will be no diversion.
You will not look up, look around or speak
No peeing without a formal request and a pat down to ensure you're not "carrying"  (technology or answers)

A little question like, "can I do grammar first?" just confirms the decision to yank him out of that system and give him freedom to think, to explore and to grow.  When he goes to college, there's not going to be any culture or learning shock, it'll be a smooth transition from what he does now; learn, work, explore, manage time, hours, plan, THINK!

Speaking of public school.  I was asked to help volunteer at the school we don't go to over the next week.  The students stand in line, fill out forms, are assigned books and  locks and agendas and whatnot after they've already started school... serious time/day wasters...if they HAVE to go to school, teach them something, don't make them stand in lines for days getting a locker for pete's sake, that drove me crazy.  In any event, I didn't know how to respond to the call for help.  I'd love to help out because I like helping out but I felt it would be too odd to be there without a child who attended.  So, I simply didn't respond to it.  I feel, well I can't put it into words how I feel about it, but I do feel something about it.  I still get emails and letters from the school even though I keep asking to be removed from lists.  I just junk them so it's not the end of the world but again, it makes me feel something, maybe slightly annoyed.

The Banker is into his history videos, has completed his math test from yesterday then he gets to dive into his world study, he's chosen Fiji as the first country he'd like to know more about.  

Husband is going on his weekly outing to spend time having a beer, seeing a band and hanging out with his friends.  My envy knows no bounds.  I need to have some time to myself, *I* want to go out for a drink, *I* want to watch a band and spend an evening NOT being in charge.  I'm 'on' 24/7 and that's the only part of this venture than exhausts me.  I never get time to myself to just be myself.  I think I'll try to find a way to have my own regular night out every week where I go to the bar, eat dinner out, see a band and have a laugh.  I've been asking husband for 2 years to invite me, I guess I took the hint I'm not welcome so I'll simply have to go find it for myself. 

Today, however, Banker and I are going to get the work done, have a giggle, cook some delicious fresh fish I picked up for us yesterday for our mother/son dinner (although they are all mother/son dinners just tonight I don't have to watch it go cold waiting) so I'm looking forward to our day and evening. 

I think day four of 8th grade will equally as fabulous as the first 3. 

And it was... there's something perpetually joyous about listening to a child sing when he's working... there's no part of that I don't love.

/Tracy

Day three, 8th

Well, well, well.  How beautifully is THIS curriculum, plan, schedule, idea, system, setup, idea working?  Yeah, sure, it's day 3 but yeowza!  The Banker keeps telling me how "professional" school feels this time.  *insert happy dance here*  I have to agree with him. 

My biggest worry, ok, not biggest worry because there is the ever looming confidence I've screwed him up for the rest of his natural life, ruined any chances for success, education, joy or happiness of any kind.  Besides THAT sorry I didn't know if we would be able to keep up with Ms. Zan's Literature and History schedule, hers being daily and mine being weekly.  Well, much to my abject delight, the banker flew through the week's worth of Literature, handed me in a beautifully written and need composition book and didn't seem daunted by the taking on of 5 classes in one sitting at all.  *insert yet another happy dance here*.  He said he felt he learned a lot.  He completely loves the formality and organization of it.  Ah, that's my Banker.

He will tackle the 5 classes of History tomorrow, we'll see how that goes. I have a reasonable amount of faith he'll be able to tackle it.  I purposely wrapped "elective" classes on the big work days like math, literature and history.  

He isn't too bothered by the knowledge he's doing in one day what his friend is being asked to do in a week but then it all comes back to the schedule dilemma of many classes for a short period every day or a few for hours once a week.  I think we'll continue on the one subject "stream" per day, he really likes wrapping his head in the one direction and staying in it. 

Today got side tracked a little bit because of some leftover work, namely the worst book report i've ever read, so he started a bit late then there was math on top of the work so he is going to carry over his math test to tomorrow.  I don't think it'll impede the day too terribly. 

The Banker suggested he and FriendH do one of the personal writing options together and I think that's a great idea.  I'll get with Ms.Zan about it, we already know which days FriendH will be expected to do the work.  What a delight being able to peek into other people's children's work load! 

We also helped FriendC and FriendA get some additional information for them to start the same math.  Two of the Banker's friends are starting the program he's 3/4 through and one has completed the next level,  it's lovely to have that resource available.  Friends helping friends.  Yeah, also brilliant.

I am in a tizzy about my various ventures.  One seems to be on the cusp of taking off and I don't want any part of it and am finding it difficult to be motivated.  The other seems also to be starting to pick up steam and I can't dive in until I finish the previous obligations.  Gasp, hardly the crisis of the century but still it's making it a little bit more difficult for me to focus completely. 

When I do get the rugs made and shipped, the setup we have here of us working in the same room, opposite sides is completely and totally conducive to a successful and fulfilling (for me) work space. 

So far, three days in, it's a sweet deal all the way around! 

/Tracy