Day Seventy Three

WHAT a difference a day makes.

Yesterday, the Banker slept late, ate heartily upon rising (I'd made buttermilk biscuits for him).  He worked at his tasks without whining, moaning, bitching or pre-teen angst.

He blew through his work, 100%, 100%, 100%.  English, all complete, 100%.  Math (one particular concept he's fought with) reviewed, re-watched, re-worked, he asked for extra practice sheets (!) ASKED for more work to practice!  Practice lessons, 100%.  Test retake, 100%.

Brilliant.

We discussed some process issues, book issues, moving some pending work to another day.  We talked about life, chickens, happiness, his future, my future, my mother.  We giggled, danced and he sang, sang, sang, while he worked.

Brilliant.

I took some mental health time today.  There's so much to do here at the house, it's a mess and I feel out of control with it.  It feels overwhelming for some reason.  I need some me time.  I took the girls (chickens) outside to the gazebo, set up a chair and sat in there with my glass of wine and just watched them peck and scratch.  They ran to me, climbed on me and little, ugly, Edna fell asleep on my arm.  I needed the time out.  I can't believe how I feel for these chickens.

Brilliant.

Husband went out to play with his friends, probably laughing, joking, relaxing.  All the things he doesn't, can't or won't do here.  So long as he's happy and having fun.

Brilliant.

I cooked and experimented, liked some and hated some.  I cooked the best pork fried rice ever, way to use up the two teensy scrawny little pork chops leftover from last night.  Hardly enough to feed one of us let alone a mountain for both plus loads of leftover for Bankers lunch tomorrow.

Brilliant.

The Banker is going to shadow FriendA today at a co-op. He wanted to get the feel for one and she invited him, excellent timing.  I am going to try to get some stuff done here, I am sort of paralyzed when he's here working, I feel I need to be available, across the table for him, during school.  I am sure it'll find it's level.  All in all, even after the blow out of the other day, I truly think he's happy with home school, excited to be able to check out the Co-op and I am going to try to get SOMEthing done here with time all by myself.

Brilliant.

I came downstairs at 6am and found the Banker dressed, milk in hand, at the computer working through Language Arts Extensions to finish up some work.  Really?  I might love this. He flipped over to a little Minecraft when he finished.

Now then.  THAT is a conversation.  ALL the teen boys seem to be fascinated with the build your own world game that is Minecraft.  The graphics are crappy, the movement slow to medium at best and they love love love it.  It looks like Lego on the screen, well, if Lego had no sharp edges, unfocused Lego.  There has been some discussion between mothers as to how long to allow them to play this obsessive game, in one sitting.  Now, there's no killing or gore, or very little and it's amateurish at best. They have to work with each other to gather, mine and harvest what they need to build this world so perhaps there's a little ethics in there? They call each other in Skype, use the conference call program and all chat while they all play. They all call into one server (old school!) and play and build in the world they've created and saved.

They have been playing way too many hours in a row lately and one of the moms suggested a time limit, I love that.  We've decided they have to be off by 9pm, sounds reasonable.  We decided they have 3 hours (maximum) in a sitting, that also works just fine.  But I'll be honest, I wonder whether they need and use this time more so for social engaging rather than for the actual computer game.  They talk the whole time about what they need to do/work/buy/sell/harvest/mine/build and are dedicated to it to a fault.

I don't think we're turning them into sociopath ax murderers by letting them sit staring at screens for hours.  In a ridiculous manner, they are learning typing skills, keyboarding, some minor programming, how to get along, how to bargain, barter and negotiate.  They are learning to plan, to plot, to design and to build.  I hate to admit it but none of the items on this list is a bad thing.  They aren't shooting each other to smithereens with blood splattering across a screen.  Thank goodness.

Under the "super mom" category, it gives me a break when he's online with the friends.  *nice*  I can exhale, be inside my own head and make my own plans for my own life.  I need changes around here and when he's occupied so deeply, I can think about what I need to happen, for me, it's time.  I do know how easy it is to sit and start playing an obsessive game, Lemmings comes to mind.  I could play that all day, 3 hours was a blink.  I do understand their not realizing the time when they're so engaged.

I guess I wonder whether it's really that big of a deal if the work is done, what's wrong with engaging with your friends playing a group game instead of sitting in front of a television watching what other people want to put in your head.  Would we time limit them if it was a board game?  A card game?  Lego, Megablox or Lincoln Logs? Would we be concerned if they were playing with army men? GiJoe? Marbles?   I wonder if the conversation, time and energy spent with each other building relationships usurps the fact it's over a glowing rectangle.  What if it was just on the phone?  This is how home school kids, public school kids, friends and neighbors, from an area over 90 miles wide spend time hanging out when all their work is done.

I'll be thinking about that today.

/Tracy

Day Fifty Nine

We have had some gentle pushing, academically speaking, back and forth.  I would like it if it had anything to do with ideology, considerations, theories or challenging public convention but it's not, it's little things that, frankly, are pissing me off.  A little fire is a good thing but make it about something that matters.  Banker doesn't think he should have due dates that matter, I do, Hello I win!.


He's been futzing around not finishing his Literature book, he goes out side to read but stops, "to save for later".  Bull, my dear.  Yesterday, granted, it was a long day and I had plans to be gone early so he was trying to be sure he was completely done everything so he could play the whole time I was out, which he did.  Still, when I say something needs to be done, it does. 


I wonder if my contemporary home school people have the same due date issue.  I think it's the only consistent thing we've faced.  I get that there isn't the threat of a failing grade, or of telling his mother ?!  I wonder whether I overlap and take personal things away, restrict online play until due items are submitted?  On one hand it makes sense on the other it muddies the mother/teacher/guide line and I don't want that line muddied.  I guess to some extent it has to be just by fact I am more than one influence on him simultaneously now.  


If he got a bad or late grade in public school would I punish him somehow here at home with extra chores or work or restrict his "screen" access?  I don't know, he didn't have them.  How sad is that?


The other, being eaten by an ant moment; I noticed he wrote his name in crazy spelling on everything for the past week or so.  It bugs me for some inane reason, no rhyme or reason, your name doesn't have a K or any Z's so leave them off... oh and add back the vowels, you're not gangsta enough to pull this off.  


Ok, two things, spelling of his name, and everything actually.  He added "do Gernal" for the bring forward of his journal entry for the week.  Really? it's up my nose.  I quietly pointed out that paperwork in this kitchen is all school related and as a result I will grade it, schedule alterations and notes included.  I don't care whether it should bug me, it does. 


Now that I've sat and thought about it, I am going to muddy the waters.  You don't hand something in on time, no "screens" until said item is completed, handed in AND graded.  Don't want some shoddy piece handed in to satisfy a criteria.  It has to be done AND it has to be good, sorry Bucko. 


I'm the mom so I can be the meanie, at my whim.  He's a preteen so he'll think anything I do, think or determine is irrational and stupid anyway, added bonus.  I'm the teacher so I also have carte blanche to be persnickety (his 5th grade teacher horrified him with that tidbit) and demand the most unreasonable completion dates and answers to questions, (full sentences when when you look at the wording of the question, a single word or number is still a grammatically correct option, she bugged me, but I digress) I can, frankly, do whatever I want to do and having the mother and teacher hats on I should drive home the fact that as wonderful as the Banker is, as hard working and as dedicated...he isn't going to win. 


Spell properly and kiss your screens good bye until I have a book report in my hands...a book report that is complete, well thought out and that is representative if your skill and talent. 


It's going to be a charming moment when I share that little tidbit with him.


We are going to take a break during the day at some point to run to the store to find Easter and birthday cards for husband as well as a little birthday present for him.  Husband is the hardest person to buy for, he has everything he wants, he just goes out and buys it...I have a couple of little ideas so we'll check them out.  


I think I'll drop the 'no screens' bomb on the Banker when we get back, no sense wandering stores with a hissy preteen.   Then I anticipate a particularly quiet rest of the day.  Maybe later I'll flip around my new Netflix account and find a fabulous movie to watch on my iPad  out side in my lovely new seating area ...  ahh, that sounds nice.  Add wine to the shopping list and bingo, happy mother!


ADDENDUM: 


Threats by mother:  1
Happy "LOOK how hard I'm working to get that book report to you" child:  0

/Tracy